The number 2 essay: "The Most Important Thing in Life is Friendship. Do you agree? Discuss", well something like that. It sounds easy, right? But for some reasons, I got blank and a bit clumsy that day. So, honestly I'm kind of frustrated with my essay. That's when I decided to remake this essay.
So here it is. I send my essay to someone to be checked out, especially the grammars and the words used. So far, she haven't replied me yet.
Here is the sample (unedited version);
The Importance of Friendship
It is as easy as ABC when it comes to find and make friend; or perhaps, friends for those who are diligently-social. Additionally and particularly, despite of the presence of various social networks these days, finding friends is just in our hands or to be exact on our fingertips. According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, friendship is a relationship between friends; the feeling or relationship that friends have; the state of being friends. Yet, so little people know of how important and valuable friendship is.
First and foremost, a friendship blooms when there are sharing of emotions and feelings. Either you happy or sad, frightened or brave, you can express all those kind of feelings to your friends as they might listen to you heartily or with concerned. Real friends usually will laugh upon the jokes you’ve made, cries for your mournful stories, support you, motivate you, advice you and so on. For an easy example, when there’s been death of any relative of yours, you urge to tell someone to share your grief and you might badly want to be hugged and comfort at that moment. So, here’s when friends is needed. It is proved that the tendency of depression (which at most cases end up in suicide) are higher for those with no or less friend and those who often suppressed their feelings all to themselves. So, speak your mind towards trustworthy friends and sense the internal and emotional freedom.
Secondly, friendship can considerably assume as a helping hands. When you or he or she undergoes troubles or difficulties, a sincere helps will be it. No hesitation occurred when helping in friendship compared to giving helps to people you don’t fairly knows. If you are having a pet, for example, but in the same time, needed to go abroad for quite a while, you can surely ask a friend of yours to look after it, and it’s relieving to leave something you love behind with the people you trust. Or maybe for other example, you could ask for your friend to buy medicine and to take care of you if you are sick, and of course, you will absolutely do the same if your friends are having situations too. But, be sure to not be counted as a type of friend who likes ‘taking-advantages’.
Thirdly, a friend can be your critics. There are types of friends whom may concern of appearances, attitudes, etc. You, yourself might not realize whether your shoes are untied or, probably your jeans are unzipped. Do not have high expectation for people that you barely knows to bash and ashamed you. Plus, friends can criticized your outwear so it is suitable for certain occasion, and can trend you to be more fashion-alert. If you are having bad habits like sleep walking for example, and you by any chance did not know about it, that’s where your friends can fix you. Or perhaps, there are some attitudes that most of people you know don’t like about you, your friends can criticize and by that, makes you realize and change. Like most of people think that you are bad-breath for example, by having friends to criticize you, you can make some changes and be liked more.
Last but not least, friendship can change you. It is crucial to be picky when choosing friends because if we have uncivilized friends, we might likely turns out like them. But of course, we can change them to be more morale and civic-concerned. All that depends on one’s willingness and faith, and especially one that can stand and maintained own principles. Vice versa when it happened to be that you are the one with negative attitudes and for some reasons, befriend with those who are civilized etc. (with good attitudes), steadily without you even realized, you will followed the rhythm of the good-morale friends. There are so many illicit and ill-mannered cases nowadays, especially involving teenagers, and mainly when asked of the reasons for such unpleasant actions, they’ll blamed their tendencies to follow their uncivilized friends or they were challenged by them. So, the types of friends can change you and it is advisable to find good friends so you will change to be good or even better.
In a nutshell, the importance of friendship can only be valued by those who have friends. Treat and appreciate them nicely as they are one of your big families. No bills can value the price of a friendship. The more friends you have, the more you’ll be happy. Be sincere of giving anything or any kind cause you might as well received. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Nice.. very useful! :) -gg
BalasPadamcongratulation....ur essy vry good n nice....thx f gv me idea...
BalasPadamvery interesting piece of writing...helped me a lot in my essay...thx..:)
BalasPadamhmm,I think you may improve your essay
BalasPadamnot bad
BalasPadamSpotted quite a number of grammatical errors in your essay.
BalasPadamhm, your essay quite interesting I'm still struggling to write an essay. I was wondering if you managed to get a least a band 4 or 3?
BalasPadamGood Job!!!!
BalasPadamKeep it up!!!
i love your essay so much!!!!
good
BalasPadamwoww!!..your vocabb is power!...
BalasPadamI like this I have got many good points in this essay
BalasPadam